Demi Lovato, 'Stay Strong': Singer Admits to Cutting and Purging Since Rehab in TV Special

Posted on Mar 7th 2012 11:05AM by Contessa Gayles

Demi Lovato Stay Strong Getty Images

It has been over a year since Demi Lovato was released from a three month stint in rehab to treat issues including, cutting, eating disorders and depression. But in her candid new MTV documentary 'Stay Strong,' which aired March 6, the 19-year-old has admitted she hasn't always been able to live up to the TV special's title and stay strong enough to resist her self-destructive urges since her release from treatment.

''I cannot tell you that I have not thrown up since treatment. I cannot tell you that I have not cut myself since treatment. I'm not perfect," Demi admitted. "An addiction is an obsession, something that takes over your mind and your every thought. You think that you can't live without it. For me, it was not eating and purging and self-harming," she said during the revealing TV special.

Lovato's confession sheds new light on a statement she made during an interview with AOL Music back in July 2011. When asked if she considered herself to be recovered from the problems that landed her in treatment, Demi replied, "No. This is an ongoing process and the hardest part about these diseases is that they're things that I'm going to have to face every day for the rest of my life. I'm going to mess up and I'm not going to be perfect."

Demi, who was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder while in treatment, went on to identify the insecurities at the root of her issues during the MTV documentary. ''[I was] looking in the mirror and never feeling good enough. I felt like I was living a lie ... I was dealing with all this pain, emotionally. And I felt guilt and shame. I decided to take it out on myself. I harmed myself.''

Now, the former Disney Channel actress is clinging to her career in music to help her on the long road to recovery, praising her fans -- or Lovatics as she calls them -- for their love and support. ''If you took away music, I wouldn't have a reason to live," she confessed, adding, "Every time someone asks me for a picture or an autograph, even if I'm having a bad day and I'm in a bad mood, I remember, 'You're nothing without this person'. They make it special.''

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