Adam Lambert AOL Essay Contest: Read Winner Antoinnette's Touching Tribute to Adam

Last week, we asked Adam Lambert fans to write their own personal essays detailing how Adam has had a positive influence on their lives. Today, as Lambert releases his new CD Trespassing, we're proud to publish our winner's moving essay. Read below for Lambert fan Antoinnette's touching story about how Adam helped her understand and grow closer to his son after he came our of the closet.

Life doesn't come with a handbook, nor does parenting. As I sit here today, I was inspired to tell you how Mr. Adam Lambert has changed my life, or rather my way of thinking, and how he has become a key to the relationship I currently have with my child. I wish I could say that everything is perfect when it comes to parents and their children, but I would be lying. I wish I could say that being a single parent is easy, but it isn't. And I wish I could say that finding out my son was gay was easy ... but I can't. Over the last few years, I've been working on the relationship I have with my son. How do I begin? With some history of course!

I will admit I was not the biggest fan of "American Idol" or Adam Lambert. I never found him very interesting -- I couldn't even see the fascination everyone had with him while he was on "American Idol." The first time I ever figured out who Adam was happened when I flipped on "Idol" during country week. I watched Adam singing "Ring of Fire" that night -- one of my favorite Johnny Cash songs. I was so upset when I first listened to Adam sing the song, because I refused to believe anyone could sing it as the great Johnny Cash. What I failed to understand was that everyone is different. As the weeks went by, I continued to watch in hopes that he would just go away but he never did. Each week the show would come on and I would get annoyed. I still couldn't see the fascination. But by the time the season of "American Idol" came to an end, Adam had started to grow on me. When Adam didn't win, in a way I was happy ... but then I was equally as sad. I was happy because very few of the "Idol" winners are heard of after they win and he was something -- or rather someone -- that I had to admit I admired. I knew he was special and he was going to change people's lives and change people's way of thinking. Little did I know he was also going to be the key that unlocked my relationship with my child.

I will spare you a lot the anger and frustration in my relationship with my son and skip to March of 2010, when he graduated from college. I was so proud because he wasn't even 18 years old yet. As a parent, all we want is the best for our children, and I wanted so badly to have a connection with him and that close bond we had when he was little. The day he finished his last class, I went to school to pick him up. I was so happy for him and wanted to do something special for his big day. I told my son I would buy him something special ... anything he wanted. To my surprise he didn't want anything except the new Adam Lambert CD, "For Your Entertainment" that was released back in November of 2009. After Adam's sexually explicit performance on the American Music Awards, I didn't want to, but my son wanted the CD. Still not sold on the idea, I asked him if there was anything else he wanted. He said no, he wanted the CD. Against everything in my heart, I bought him Adam's CD.

On our way home we opened it to take a listen. To say I wasn't interested would be a lie. I found myself listening to the songs one at a time and just being fascinated with the words. There were 3 songs on the CD that stuck out the most for me, but only one of those songs brought me closer to my son. Close enough to understand the wall he built around him ... the door he closed and locked tight hiding behind it.

"Aftermath" was the song that changed my life. It brought me close to my child and it changed my way of thinking. The song itself brought back the time when I just couldn't connect with my son. Each word brought back the secrets and lies the frustration and anger. You see, while I am a straight woman, I do have a gay son. For years he hid the real him because he felt he couldn't trust a soul. I've been brought to tears on several occasions by the very words of "Aftermath," because now, it represents to me what I didn't know then -- the number of times my son tried to commit suicide. I hear lines like, "Think of what could be if you rewrite the role you play" and "Before you break, you have to shed your armor." Those words bring me back to the day my son came to and said, "Mom I tried to overdose on pills and alcohol because I didn't think you would ever accept me for being gay. I did what I could do to try and end my life with no success."

I'm very thankful that my son is alive today and has since changed his thinking ... as have I. Our hearts and minds are connected in ways I couldn't explain. While I will always love my son, I also love music that has such a great and powerful meaning. I'd like to think that when Adam Lambert had his pen to the paper writing "Aftermath," each word brought to mind people such as my son that hid from the world behind numerous suicide attempts. I will never be able to express the gratitude I have toward Adam for being the glittery key that unlocked the door to my son. I love the idea that Adam has passion for his fans but doesn't give a crap what others say. As I conclude this I will just say that I may not have been the biggest fan of Adam Lambert nor was I ever fascinated with him. I will say that each word that was written in "Aftermath," meant the world to me when my son expressed every little secret he had.

As the date for Adam's new album Trespassing is finally here, I am so excited to see what is in store for the new chapter in Adam's life. I must admit, I will probably act like a crazy fan when I buy it, but I just love when artist express who they are through music. Thank you so much Adam Lambert! You, in a way, have been the handbook to life with a gay child. Thank you so much.