Kelly Clarkson: 'American Idol' Was 'Horrible,' 'I Hated My Life'

Posted on Jun 5th 2012 10:35AM by Contessa Gayles

Kelly Clarkson american idol Charles Sykes, AP

Kelly Clarkson may be at the top of her game these days -- with a hot TV show, slimmed-down figure and a promising new man on her arm -- but the singer wasn't always so fond of her fame and fortune. The pop sensation recently opened up to Redbook about her early years in showbiz, filled with loneliness and unhappiness.

While Clarkson does her best to mentor music industry hopefuls on the singing competition show "Duets," the former "American Idol" champ confesses she never got the nurturing and guidance she needed as a teen on the talent show that launched her into super stardom. "I'm going to be completely honest -- I had no one looking out for me," Kelly told the magazine. "They were looking out for the show, and it was horrible," she admitted. "I was 19 years old. I was smart enough to know that it wasn't about me, but that didn't make it any easier," Clarkson revealed of the hit show during its premiere season.

Of course, the "Dark Side" singer, now 30, has developed quite a thicker skin since then -- but not before seriously considering leaving the business all together. "I'm all cried out about it, but my first four years, I hated my life; I almost quit a dozen times."

These days the jaded performer says she's learning what real happiness is -- and admits she's a little fearful of losing it all. "'Where's the kick in the ass?' I told my assistant that today," Kel shares. "I'm just waiting for something to blow up!' She [my assistant] said, 'No, that's what happiness is!'"

So who exactly is making Kel so full of bliss? That would be new boyfriend, talent manager Brandon Blackstock. "Brandon does -- he makes me happy," reveals Kelly.

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Patricia

You never hear about the guy that was the runner up the year Kelly won, Justin something. She needs to remember she does owe AI for putting her in the spotlight, or she would be like Justin. She is talented, however there are a lot of talented singers in LA that never make it. AI did a lot for her and this is not the time to be putting it down.

June 09 2012 at 9:36 AM Report abuse Permalink +1 rate up rate down Reply

Libby

Kelly's so talented. There's no reason why she wouldn't have made it.
Would love to hear her sing "full voice" on occasion.

June 09 2012 at 8:25 AM Report abuse Permalink +1 rate up rate down Reply

1 reply to Libby's comment

jfjharrisontq

The only reason she won was because her voice couldnt be ingored and nower days she sings toilet songs. She's so not THE IMAGE for the Record Companies.

June 09 2012 at 8:50 AM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply

lsgiff

Poor Kelly. Maybe she should get a REAL job and see if life is any easier for her.

June 08 2012 at 9:48 AM Report abuse Permalink +2 rate up rate down Reply

loisc9025

I'm sure being on the first Idol, Kelly didn't get the attention and direction that they get today. I know she wanted to go into more of a hardrock direction and it didn't work for her. I remember reading about her and Simon Fuller having problems because she didn't agree with him on things and never showed any appreciation towards Idol. It took her some time to get on the right track. I remember hearing how Reba Macintire's husband became her new manager but I don't know if he still is. Carrie Underwood was a guest on Idol a few years ago giving advice to the contestants., "Always be humble and never forget to be thankful to those who got you there." I do think country singers who win on Idol have an easier time breaking into the business and becoming successful. As far as Kelly go'es, It would have done her a world of good to be given that advice. I think some contestants feel if they thank Idol for they'er siccess , it takes away from averything they accomplished on they're own. They just don't get that they most likely would have never made it on they're own. I think some of the people are being to hard on Kelly. She had some growing up to do and she did it. She deserves to be happy and I only wish the best for her.

June 07 2012 at 2:24 PM Report abuse Permalink +1 rate up rate down Reply

Barb

How ungrateful she is! She should be kissing their ass because without them she would be just another somewhat talented wanna be. No I don't like her she comes off like a snob and I hate snobs.

June 07 2012 at 1:22 AM Report abuse Permalink +1 rate up rate down Reply

daniwear

How ungrateful. Whether she enjoyed being on "Idol" or not, the show gave her the opportunity to be a star. Where would she be without "Idol." Did she really think it was going to be about "her?" That show has made many careers for otherwise unknown wannabee stars. She was a 1st year contestant and each years the show has grown and helps the contestants more, yet, Shame on all those contestants who got/get that great opportunity, and then bash it. Not a fan.

June 06 2012 at 9:35 PM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply

Lynn

SO glad to hear she didn't quit.... she's my FAVORITE artist.... one of the few out there today who can actually SING!

June 06 2012 at 3:05 PM Report abuse Permalink -1 rate up rate down Reply

1 reply to Lynn's comment

jfjharrisontq

Look for another favorite, save yourself.

June 09 2012 at 8:52 AM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply

trollinabucket

I always knew the show was about the S"show"...they don't give a s*** about the contestants..just the ratings...Thats why I don't watcfh it...

June 06 2012 at 2:25 PM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply

1 reply to trollinabucket's comment

jfjharrisontq

You forgot about the phone being rigged. I dont watch because it's garbage and should be cancelled.

June 09 2012 at 8:56 AM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply

Eddie

Well that’s interesting to hear that American Idol is more about the show than the contestants. I love the show but being a view at home I have no idea how things are behind the scenes. Now I can watch American Idol commercial free using my Auto Hop feature. Having my Hopper, I don’t have to pick and choose my recordings. This will record all my primetime shows and I can watch them all. I’ve enjoyed the option to skip commercials using my Auto Hop feature. I don’t like commercials and having to manually skip them, is nothing I enjoy. Now the Auto Hop will do it for me, or I can let them play just like I’ve always done. One of my coworkers at Dish showed me how this feature works and how much easier it is to enjoy TV. No more over fast forwarding and I can save the life on the batteries on my remote.

June 06 2012 at 1:52 PM Report abuse Permalink -1 rate up rate down Reply

1 reply to Eddie's comment

jfjharrisontq

So interesting , AI must have power, look out Kelly, have a save trip going down.

June 09 2012 at 8:58 AM Report abuse Permalink +1 rate up rate down Reply

mccars

Poor little me....know one watched out for me....trash Idol the very spot where if she had not had that opportunity, she could have been a great singer that never got the chance to display how well she sang....Just another ungrateful person who does not look at the great things she got from her opportunity to perform in front of a massive audience...

June 06 2012 at 1:43 PM Report abuse Permalink +1 rate up rate down Reply

1 reply to mccars's comment

jfjharrisontq

Kelly who without it.

June 09 2012 at 8:59 AM Report abuse Permalink +1 rate up rate down Reply