You may remember me. I, like many obsessed boy band fans in the '90s, followed you around the country. I forced my mother let me paint "NSYNC or Bust," on our van with white shoe polish and bought pretty much every piece of FuMan Skeeto clothing from Nordstrom. Back then, I wallpapered my room in pictures of JC Chasez with his pants unbuttoned and filmed your TV appearances with my webcam when our VHS recorder wasn't working.
As you can see, I've done a lot for the love of NSYNC. And now, I'm asking you do something for me (and nearly every other female from Generation Y). Boys, it's time to put away your current endeavors (Joey, "The Price is Right Live!" will understand), your animosity towards one another, throw on some matching glitter suits and reunite for one more album.
Now, I know this is a big request -- but after you read my totally rational reasons for this reunion, I'm sure you won't be able to say no.
There's Still Plenty O' Money to be Made
Let's start out with the obvious: NSYNC made history (and money). You sold over one million copies of No Strings Attached in one day (!!), 50 million albums in your career and made the RIAA's list of 100 best-selling artists ever. I'm telling you, your fan base is still out there, and we make WAY more money now. Go on tour, I'd be happy to pony over some major $$$ to see you take the stage again.
We Need Another Groundbreaking Hit About Living in This Brave New World
"Digital Get Down" remains the best song ever to made about getting "freaky deaky" over the Internet. In 2013, the masses need a song about sexting, Instagram and Snapchat ... and only NSYNC truly has the experience to such a song justice.
The Fashion Industry is Suffering From a Lack of Coordination
You Can Single-handedly Increase the Number of Female B-ball Fans
Now, I don't know much about sports -- especially basketball -- but once upon a time, I had reason to throw on a ragged red jersey, paint KNIGHTS on my face and cheer. That was all thanks to the best sporting event ever invented, Challenge for the Children, hosted by the five of you. Forget Justin Bieber at the Celebrity All-Star Game, THIS was a memorable sporting match for a good cause. And if you can convince Justin and Britney to don those adorable matching jerseys again, I guarantee you the TV ratings will skyrocket.
Did You Forget May is NSYNC Month?
We All Need a Reason to Show Off Our NSYNC Memorabilia Again
Listen, all of those knit blankets, animated watches, temporary flame tattoos, marionette dolls, bobble heads and stuffed Chris Kirkpatrick bears didn't come cheap. They shouldn't be wasting away in a storage unit!
JC Needs Another Shot at Being the Real Star of NSYNC
NSYNC fans were split up into three categories: the JT fans, the JC fans and the "others." To be a full-fledged JC Chasez fan you have to agree that "Gone" was the most unfair single ever (where was JC's solo?), know which NSYNC songs JC wrote (the good ones) and realize that JC, not Justin, was the true star of "The Mickey Mouse Club." Justin, you had your chance to shine ... now JC needs his chance in the spotlight!
The NSYNC Fan Army is Getting Married, and "This I Promise You" is Getting Stale
The legions of teens who dreamed of walking down the aisle to "This I Promise" actually ARE saying "I do" at this point. Unfortch, that track, while romantic, is played out. Please make sure to include an epic wedding anthem on the new album ... should you decide to hear my pleas and reunite.
It's Time for Timberlake to Go Back to His Roots
Justin, I'm really happy for you. Really. But deep down, I think we both know this "Suit and Tie" slickness isn't the real you. Bring back the ramen hair! We're sure Jessica Biel won't mind!
JC, Justin, Chris, Lance and Joey, please take my points to heart. I'm sure you guys are all very busy living your lives, but the glitter poster-holding, never-washing-my-hand-again-because-JC-touched-it teenage girl inside of me is begging you, give it one more chance.
Ashley Knierim (Feel free to reach me at my first email address, email@example.com)
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